Curly Howard
01-28-2003, 07:42 AM
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( and
that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase
necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular
soap." (and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion:
Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do
not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot
after heating." (...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes
on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car
or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We
could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with
head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or
outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the
other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this.
I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk
about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions:
Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly
Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this
garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame
the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain
with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of?
this happening somewhere?)
that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase
necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular
soap." (and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion:
Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do
not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot
after heating." (...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes
on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car
or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We
could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with
head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or
outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the
other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this.
I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk
about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions:
Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly
Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this
garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame
the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain
with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of?
this happening somewhere?)