Then you can sleep in my grave.

If lifes a *****, I want her with two kids

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
- Brendon Behan

Sex, drugs and rock n roll
Speed, weed and birth control
Life's a ***** and then you die
So **** it all and lets get high - Overheard by Zorak at a London squat party

When a man talks dirty to a woman it's called sexual harassment... when a woman talks dirty to a man it's $3.99 per minute. - Unknown (sent in by Wendy)

I'm a philosophy major. That means I can think deep thoughts about being unemployed. - Bruce Lee

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit. - W. Somerset Maugham

Originally posted by CrashZero
The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit. - W. Somerset Maugham what?




























HAHHAHHAHAHAH...You get it...by quoting you...never mind

True, money can't buy happiness, but it isn't happiness I want. It's money - Bizarro

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life - Terry Pratchett

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. - Douglas Adams

HAHAHHAHAH@ all of CZ's quotes

A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could only have one book, what would it be? I always say 'How to Build a Boat.' - Steve Wright

I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.' - Jack Handey


yea these quotes rule

Outside every thin woman there is a fat man wildly signalling to be let in. - Anon

too true....

I must confess, I was born at a very early age. - Groucho Marx

In vino veritas - In wine there is truth. - Latin Quotation

one of my personal favs


It is now beyond any doubt that cigarettes are the biggest cause of statistics. - graffiti

Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened. - Winston Churchill

My mom said she learned how to swim. Someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. That's how she learned to swim. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'
- Paula Poundstone

One night in 1879 at a bar in a town called Menlo Park, NJ, some men were drinking beer, when suddenly one of them announced that he was going to invent an electric light. The others laughed, but that man got up, put on his coat and hat, and accidentally walked into the fireplace, thereby setting his coat on fire. This gave Thomas Edison, who was at another table drinking coffee, the idea of using carbonized cotton as the filament in his light bulb. So we see that beer, if used correctly, can be a tremendous force for good.
- Dave Barry

Technology is constantly improving our lives. Look at the cellular telephone. Just ten years ago, virtually nobody was able to get into a car crash caused by trying to steer and dial at the same time; today, people do this all the time. - Dave Barry

We are the people our parents warned us about. - graffiti

What do people mean when they say the computer went down on me? - Marilyn Pittman


indeed....

You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald spot
- Elayne Boosler

And no woman would want to be walking down the street next to a guy who had cellulite and whose boobs drooped. - Simon V.

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.
- A. Whitney Brown





owned...

Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say 'Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.' - Rita Rudney

You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams. - Rita Rudney

Politics is derived from two words: poly meaning many, and tics meaning small blood-sucking insects.
- Chris Clayton

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can not get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

There are two rules for success: 1) Never tell everything you know. - Roger H. Lincoln

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..."
Last words of Union General John Sedgwick, killed by a Confederate sharpshooter at Spotsylvania, 1864

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. -Voltaire

Computer games don't affect kids, I mean if pac man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive music. - Unknown (sent in by nasty1)

done for the night, hope you all enjoyed :) much sig material in their

ttt this thread rules :)

30 second is good enough for me and should be good enough for her.

Confucius say man who goes to bed with itchy butt wakes up with smelly fingers

BOB is a very wise and educated man. You should call yourself MC Logic Bob.

Then I would take them off.

Originally posted by The Ensanity
30 second is good enough for me and should be good enough for her.

Great words from a great man.

Originally posted by CrashZero
Computer games don't affect kids, I mean if pac man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive music. - Unknown

tanner?:lol1:

This thread is too clever for me.

"One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors."
-Plato

"Tourists are terrorists with cameras. Terrorists are tourists with guns."
-Anon.

"Everything that can be invented, has been invented."
-Charles H. Duell, 1899

"Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards."
-Aldous Huxley

"Minds are like parachutes; they work best when open."
-Lord Thomas Dewar

"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office."
-Robert Frost

"When all men think alike, no one thinks very much."
-Walter Lippmann

"The mind has exactly the same power as the hands; not merely to grasp the world, but to change it."
-Colin Wilson

"You miss 100% of the shots you never take."
-Wayne Gretzky

"I skate to where the puck is going to be, not to where it has been."
-Wayne Gretzky

"I think it's essentially a matter of taking care of what takes care of you."
-Wayne Gretzky

"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance."
-Confucius

lol, hockey you found my source outside of the wayne quotes. this quote page is for funny quirky type quotes though not trying to get deep and serious. Sorry to interupt your whoring sesh

I see.......oh well.

"Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't."
-Richard Bach

"The purpose of life is a life of purpose."
-Robert Byrne

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."
-Robert Frost

"Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."
-Mahatma Gandhi

"Don't take life seriously because you can't come out of it alive."
-Warren Miller

that's plenty for now

hockey just shhh and stick to the ****in guide lines!!!!! messing up the thread!!!!

"If you were homophobic, you'd be scared of yourself"

"like watching a ****o flick with 6 six chicks, Im the hardest one in here"

This is the best thread eva!

Im the only animal Noah didnt let on his ark.

A girl telling me she dont give head, like Im stupid...you can do anything if you put your mind to it.

That’s suicide…like calling a crip a crab or a B-dog slob.

A blowjob with a condom on is like getting a haircut while wearing a hat