The Ensanity
01-08-2003, 09:46 PM
Gross World Records
Today we have a list of World Records that we doubt you will see in The Guinness Book Of World Records.
MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED: Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July 1991.
LONGEST PUBES: Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the arm pits and 28 inches from her vagina.
MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH: Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely insert a lubricated American football into her Vagina.
ZIT POPPING: In July 1987, Carl Chadwick of Rugby, England, squeezed a zit and projected a detectable amount of yellow pus a distance of 7ft 3 inch.
WORST DRINK: The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage and safely drunk is Khoona. It is drunk by Afghani tribesmen on their wedding night and consists of a small amount of still-warm, very recently attained bull semen. It is believed to be a potent aphrodisiac.
MOST OFFENSIVE ****TAIL: This is available from a few select bars in New York. It contains tomato juice, a double shot of vodka, a spoonful of French mustard and a dash of lime. It is not mixed, but served with a tampon (unused) instead of a ****tail umbrella and is known as a 'Cunt Pump'.
GREATEST DISTANCE ATTAINED FOR A JET OF SEMEN: Horst Schultz achieved 18 ft 9 in. with a 'substantial' amount of seminal fluid. He also holds the records for the greatest height -12 ft 4in- and the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle velocity, with 42.7mph.
LONGEST TURD: The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American, who produced a 'staggering turd' over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which was officially measured at 12 ft 2in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his state.
MOST PROLONGED FART: Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for an officially recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds.
Today we have a list of World Records that we doubt you will see in The Guinness Book Of World Records.
MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED: Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July 1991.
LONGEST PUBES: Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the arm pits and 28 inches from her vagina.
MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH: Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely insert a lubricated American football into her Vagina.
ZIT POPPING: In July 1987, Carl Chadwick of Rugby, England, squeezed a zit and projected a detectable amount of yellow pus a distance of 7ft 3 inch.
WORST DRINK: The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage and safely drunk is Khoona. It is drunk by Afghani tribesmen on their wedding night and consists of a small amount of still-warm, very recently attained bull semen. It is believed to be a potent aphrodisiac.
MOST OFFENSIVE ****TAIL: This is available from a few select bars in New York. It contains tomato juice, a double shot of vodka, a spoonful of French mustard and a dash of lime. It is not mixed, but served with a tampon (unused) instead of a ****tail umbrella and is known as a 'Cunt Pump'.
GREATEST DISTANCE ATTAINED FOR A JET OF SEMEN: Horst Schultz achieved 18 ft 9 in. with a 'substantial' amount of seminal fluid. He also holds the records for the greatest height -12 ft 4in- and the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle velocity, with 42.7mph.
LONGEST TURD: The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American, who produced a 'staggering turd' over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which was officially measured at 12 ft 2in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his state.
MOST PROLONGED FART: Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for an officially recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds.