I saw Jared from Subway's new commercial, and what the ****? He has a hot wife!?!? This proves women are just whores. That stupid looking guy would never have a remotely good looking wife, but since he got his own ****ing commercial, some dumb ***** goes looking for him. It's so consistent it's scary. I hate women. All they're good for is ****ing.

she obviously wouldnt have given him the time of day before he hit the subway diet

Especially not before it, but you think if he didn't get his own commercial she would have? I still think not.

When exactly did they get married?

after he got his fat paycheck...

good one!